From the Alvin and RosaLee Sarachek studio PBS Kansas presents Empowering Seniors Welcome to empowering Seniors.

I'm your host, Katherine Ambrose.

Did you know it's possible to really impact and influence the next generation?

We're going to show you how.

Meet mama Harding.

Demetria Harding is here with us in the studio, and she's got quite a story to tell.

Demetria, thank you so much for being here.

And thank you for inviting me.

And it's so timely because your book just came out Influencing the Future.

And our audience, some of them might not know you, but we think maybe some of their grandkids would know you and know your son.

and you are getting a spotlight and able to really have an impact on children and teens and people of all ages throughout the whole world.

And that happened right here in the heart of Kansas.

Yes it did.

What in the world?

so this came about through social media, which probably some people our age might be even a little afraid of.

So what do you think about social media?

I have learned to embrace social media.

It was a little scary when all of this first started during the pandemic.

And my youngest son, who is the Adrian Harding, a very popular YouTuber.

He approached me about making videos online and even wanting to bring me along for the ride as his filmer initially.

were you skeptical at first?

I was very skeptical because he was a WSU student and he was in the robotics engineering program entering his fourth semester.

When he told me that he wanted to leave school and pursue Tik Tok full time.

And you were like, what is TikTok and how is this going to be?

Yes.

Yeah.

And I waited until the very last day to unroll him to see if he was going to change his mind, and he didn't.

And so I'm very proud of his accomplishments, and I'm glad that we both made the decision together to allow him to pursue a content creator career.

Wow.

what kind of life are are you living now and what kind of life is Adrian living now?

Thanks to Tik Tok initially and now other social platforms like YouTube.

Yes, he's on TikTok.

He's on YouTube.

I am on Tik Tok.

I have 1.1 million followers on that platform.

So there is a huge following everywhere we go.

I usually don't go any place alone.

Because sometimes I need to get in, I need to get out.

But social media has really been favorable for us, and we've embraced it.

We've influenced a lot of people positively, and we get those reports all the time.

So we enjoy what we're doing and we're sharing our talents with the entire world.

That's amazing.

So tell us what your message is.

What is the message that Adrian.

And maybe you're influenced initially.

What is this message that is catching on like wildfire?

Our message is positivity.

First and foremost.

Everybody is someone.

We don't believe in bullying.

We don't believe in hurting other people.

And we want everyone to have a nature.

Hi.

We promote sobriety.

The Adrian has never had alcohol, vaping, smoking, anything like that, and I instill that in both of my children who are now young men.

And so we have the Stay Sober tour, and we hit 42 cities, including four cities in Australia, and we had families in attendance.

There were over 20,000 attendees total at those shows, and we had families together.

We saw grandparents.

We saw small children, large children.

But just knowing that we have impacted that many people in a positive way makes us feel good.

When we lay our heads down at night.

what are you hearing back from people about your stay sober messaging and your positivity messaging?

They are telling us that they're enjoying that message because they hear so much negativity, especially at school in different places.

And it's difficult when you want to be sober, but your parents may not be sober.

And so the kids are kind of getting the boldness to approach their parents about watching the Adrian's videos, about coming to our live shows.

And they'll even tell their parents, hey, you got to wear something purple, because Mama Harding loves purple.

And I had a mom tell me one time she said, my daughter does not take me anywhere.

And she begged me to come to this show with her.

So thank you for what you're doing to my daughter.

Wow.

So it's it's a huge reach that we didn't even realize we had.

It's astonishing, really, that you're trying to inspire young people and even children, and then they're trying to empower their parents and grandparents.

And in many instances, it is working.

Wow.

So how in the world did this get started?

You're influencing the next generation.

What was your message to your little boys when you were raising them?

The Adrian had a t shirt when he was probably 7 or 8 years old and on the back and said, you're following the leader.

Both of my sons have always been leaders, and that's what I have taught them.

If you have the leadership qualities, use it.

You can help other people.

They use their lunch hour to tutor students instead of going to recess.

They've participated in so many things to help others.

And so as they grew, we stayed with that flow of leadership.

And both of my sons were entrepreneurs before the age of 21, which I'm very, very proud of, but they're just a positive influence on their peers.

When you need someone and there's that one person that doesn't do what everybody else is drawn to doing.

My boys happen to be that person that you can go to.

It's it can be cool to be sober.

So that's what the Adrian is kind of teaching the world that sobriety is cool.

That is kind of a trend now too, that younger generations maybe are more sober than older generations.

interesting.

Get there.

Why do you think so?

Why do you think that's the case?

I think because we are exposed to so much social media, they're saying all the harmful things that could happen.

Instead of someone just sitting by them saying, oh, you don't do this.

You don't do that just because you're not supposed to do it.

And it's like, oh, something really bad happened to my friend.

I saw something on the news.

There's all these different stories out there that are based on people making poor decisions.

And so that's right there at your, your eyes and your fingertips.

So I think it's having a larger impact because you're exposed to more instances.

And was there anything in your growing up or your early development years that made you feel so strongly about how you wanted to influence the next generation?

Absolutely.

I'm someone that sits back and I watch people, even as a small child.

And, I grew up in a Christian family.

My father, my parents married as teenagers, and my father fell into alcoholism when he was probably in his early 30s.

And so I would just watch him and I'd be like, okay, well I don't want to do that.

I don't want to follow that path.

You know, this happened that happened.

And he was just an amazing person.

But he drank alcohol all of the time.

And so it affected our relationship and even, in my book, I mentioned when I went to East High for one semester and I see all these pictures of my dad.

He was the star point guard.

He was in these different clubs.

And I looked up there and I'm like, well, yeah, he was amazing to you guys walking around.

It's high.

But, you know, my parents were divorced.

He wasn't coming to pick us up.

He had this drinking problem.

So there's just a lot going through my mind.

And there was a lot of resentment.

And so for my boys to grow older and see my dad and his struggle with alcohol, it really opened their eyes further to like, this is a problem.

And he's a great grandpa, but he can't let this go.

Do you feel like it's kind of a wasted element of your talent and life to let alcohol or some other vices get the best of you?

I mean, that's a strong word of wasted, but it's definitely a vice, that a lot of people have fallen prey to.

And he's my biggest example.

of what alcohol can do, what it can cause it rips families apart.

It just, you know, he was homeless for a while.

He'd show up at my door and let him right in.

He tell me, hey, there's too many rules here.

I can't do this, and I can't do that.

And then he would leave.

I look in his room and his stuff was gone.

He.

He'd be gone, but then he'd come back, or I'd be out driving around the streets looking for him.

And sometimes I would find him, and I grab him, take him right back to my house and try it all over again.

So, but at age 61, he lost that battle.

Well I'm sorry to hear that.

He was young.

Yeah.

And, maybe part of his legacy is the resolve that he put into you and how you raised your sons and how you are speaking to future generations.

Today.

Yeah.

And and then we're, of course, talking about empowering seniors, empowering, mature people.

And as we mature, we have our own struggles.

When I was 37 years old, I was diagnosed with stage TB colon cancer.

No family history of it.

Just a short duration of symptoms.

And I just recall one day I was visiting my grandfather, who was my father's father, and I cut our visit short because I didn't want him to know what was going on.

But I was in so much pain.

And I left there and I went to the emergency room, and I told them what my symptoms were, and they did a scan, and they found that I had two masses, one on each side of my colon.

So within two weeks I was in surgery.

And then I was in the hospital for three weeks because I had so many complications after the surgery.

But at the time my sons were 17 and nine.

So yeah.

So I had a high school senior who was scheduled to graduate in three months.

And I had a fourth grader who was just so afraid that Adrian, that he was going to lose his mom, but I laid in the hospital for three weeks while I had people that were serving as their caregivers.

You know, of course the 17 year old was old enough, but at the same time he got to eat and he didn't know how to cook, you know, things like that that were going on.

But we had a very great base of family and friends that were there for us.

And on October 18th of this year, I will celebrate 15 years of colon cancer remission.

That's amazing.

Congratulations on that.

and then you've struggled with lupus.

When were you diagnosed with lupus?

So at age 47, I was diagnosed with lupus.

And I have a sleeve which is an internal and external version of lupus.

And so I noticed symptoms such as pain.

I was falling, my feet would give way, and I was having pain in my shoulders from carrying my purse after church service.

You know, people come over and they want to shake your hand.

And I would like cringe because it would hurt so bad for somebody to shake my hand or to hug me.

And so I just didn't understand what was going on.

Yeah.

And, you know, I let it pass over a few months and then things progressively got worse.

And so I reported it to my doctor and they ran test.

And then they sent me to a rheumatologist and she confirmed that I had lupus.

So I was off work for eight months until they figured out what was wrong with me.

I've been a registered nurse for 26 years, and so I'm actually retired medically due to lupus.

I retired at age 50.

So lupus has been a struggle.

Every day is a struggle based on the weather.

I had heart damage prior to this covering that I had lupus.

So I have a cardiologist.

I take a lot of medications for my heart.

I have suffered a heart attack.

It was a year and a half ago while we were performing for the Stay Sober, tour, but I left Mid-show and went to the emergency room.

But it was confirmed that I did have a mild heart attack.

And so lupus is just one of those things.

I have alopecia.

I've just struggled with so many things.

You know, you think you're getting over this.

And then lupus hops over to another part of your body and starts beating up on that.

So it's just an autoimmune disease.

It gets confused in the cells attack each other.

But this is something I've been living with for six years.

And thank goodness I'm still here.

Yeah.

That's good.

My symptoms are being managed the best they can be.

I have an endocrinologist, a rheumatologist, cardiologist, and primary care.

And so, just a great team of doctors in Wichita that take excellent care of me.

That's fantastic.

And you know, with autoimmune, you know, people might say, but you look so healthy.

I, you know, think about sometimes when you see the handicapped parking and they think, well, you don't look like you're sick.

So what is that like when people don't realize that you really do have something that you are battling?

Yeah, it's something that's kind of tough to prove, especially when you're calling in to work.

It's like, well, she looked fine yesterday.

You know what's what's wrong with her?

And so it's like a constant battle to prove yourself.

It's like, I promise you, I feel terrible, But I try to stay positive, and there are days I cannot get out of my bed.

I have fallen before I have crawled to the bathroom because I needed to use the bathroom really bad, but it hurt to get up and walk.

And so that's something that I've done.

I've been in my house for a week straight because I couldn't leave.

It's cold outside.

It's snowing.

I can't go out like that.

So there have been a lot of instances where I just have to stand, and I reference that in my book as well.

There's these I, I wear wigs to hide my alopecia.

And there have been times when I got on my TikTok channel and I pulled my wig off.

It's like, this is me.

No makeup.

This is my natural hair.

This is Mama Harding when she's at home, you know what I mean?

And it's scary at first to be vulnerable like that.

But at the same time, I got a ton of views off of that because people are saying, okay, well, she's human, just like the rest of us.

She's battling things and this is how I look, you know, I hope I don't scare you too bad, but this is how I look when I'm at home.

I'm doing the best that I can do day by day, and I try to be there when the admin is asking me to film.

You know, mom, we have a photo shoot in two hours and it's like, oh my gosh.

And then, you know, I got to get a wig and do this, get myself together and get over there.

So I push myself for my boys, for my husband and for my fans.

Very cool.

And what do you ever think about like why do I have all of these things, these challenges and what do you think that you've learned from the struggles that you've had?

Well, one of my sons tells me that I'm one of God's strongest soldiers.

That's how he references me.

On the days that I feel like I can't do this anymore because I'm a healthy person, I have always been a healthy person, and it's like I drink water, I drink Gatorade, there's no soda, there's no caffeine, no, I have limit intake of sweets.

I don't fry foods at home.

You know, every once in a while I will get something at a restaurant.

But I haven't fried anything at my house in like seven years.

And so it's like I, I try to be as healthy as I can be.

And then this shows that that shows up.

And it is frustrating because I feel like I'm being attacked and I haven't even enjoyed a lot of the other things that other people are doing.

There's no alcohol, no smoking, you know, it's like, I don't have that background, but I have that LIGO as well.

And I've had vitiligo since I was a child.

And, you know, growing up as a child is like your skin is turning white and it's like, oh my gosh, what's wrong with you?

And you have to deal with that.

But luckily my mom let me use makeup and kind of dab makeup over my areas of vitiligo.

That is like everything that I've had in the middle.

I go the colon cancer and lupus.

Nobody in my family has any of those and it's just one of those things, but I'm going to fight it.

I'm going to keep fighting it.

I am an ambassador in training for the Lupus Foundation of America, and I am on the Survival Ship Council for the Colon Cancer Coalition.

Wow.

Yes.

So even though you've had these struggles and you're like, I've tried to be good, and then I get these ailments anyway, but do you feel like it's maybe there's some purpose for some of what?

That you're a mission driven messenger?

Yeah.

For on so many topics.

Yes.

Sobriety, positivity but also fighting through health issues.

And that's got to really inspire people to think, you know, all these things that you're doing.

And at the same time, you are really real.

Yeah.

And you have real struggles.

Yes.

And I discuss those topics in my book because I want people to understand this is not the only me.

There's a totally different person underneath that's insecure.

I'm scared.

I'm hurting, you know?

But at the same time, I can empower other people.

And I do believe all of these things have happened to me, because I can share my experiences with others and let them know lupus is real.

And people are telling you, oh, you don't look sick.

Okay, well, I am and I have doctors that are backing that up, even to the point where I could no longer work as a registered nurse.

And also, I feel being a nurse for 26 years I've taken care of people that have lupus, colon cancer, all of that.

So I take my symptoms seriously and I'm able to manage so much at home.

I've never been hospitalized at all unless it was for surgery, you know, something like that.

So I get pretty close some time and I have a little bell in case I need to ring the bell and get my husband's attention, you know, and so he can get in the room or whatever.

But, yeah, so far I've been at home managing my symptoms again or with my doctor's visits.

How important do you think it is that people do really pay attention to their symptoms and their ailments, and work the best that they can to not make it worse, and to really support their symptoms and follow their health protocols.

Early detection is everything.

You have to pay attention to your symptoms.

It's tough, you know, as you get older and it seems like your body is focused on your urinary system and your bowels, you got it.

You know, you got to check your bowels and different things like that.

It seems like there's a lot of fixation on it, but it's for a reason and it can save your life.

And even with lupus, you know.

Yeah, I was tired, but I'm like, whoa, this is more than just fatigue.

There's something else going on here.

So I believe because I was diagnosed pretty early with both, I was able to get a handle on things and be here so I can help other people educate other people, because some people really struggle with even getting a diagnosis or knowing what's wrong with them.

So if you have symptoms, know that your body's trying to tell you something and you need to believe in yourself first and foremost, and keep working to find the doctors and support that you need.

Absolutely.

What makes life worth living?

How would you encourage people that are struggling with physical ailments, with illnesses and just not feeling as great as they wish they would find something that you enjoy, like a passion?

I like interior design.

I just love doing things like that.

I like working outside on certain projects.

I can't do too much because I don't know what I'm doing, but there are certain things that I really enjoy that kind of take my mind off of certain things.

Sometimes I just lay and I look out my window and it's just so beautiful outside.

God's creation is amazing.

I have a great family, I have wonderful friends, but I just think it's important to do something that's going to make you feel better.

You know, people are going to give you advice, oh, you need to get up.

You need to do something.

It's like if you don't have the white blood cells to support that, you can't just hop up and do something.

You know, you come with me.

Well, that hurts when somebody wants to invite you somewhere and you can't go, and maybe they ask you again, you still can't go.

But I feel like there are things you can do at home.

You can take a walk around the block, take a ride.

You know, just go for a ride with somebody.

I'm not going things off my bucket list.

I wanted to ride a horse.

I was in the ocean riding a horse.

You know?

That's amazing.

Yeah.

There's just so many things.

I still want to take a train ride.

I love black and white movies and see, you know, Turner Classic Movies.

And I love those train rides that they took back in the.

Yes, 60s.

And it's like, I'm going to find a train.

It's going to be a nice train, and I'm going to ride on a train.

I've been on jet skis.

Anything that I can think of, that still on my list, I'm going to make it happen.

Just living it up.

Yeah.

And so last question for you, Dimitri.

What are some of the messages, the feedback that you've gotten on viewers, on how you've impacted their life and how they feel about living?

Okay, so teenagers are very special people because they're kind of all over the place.

You know, you hate your parent this day.

You love them.

Couldn't make it without them.

And so I love that teenagers are telling me that my mom is kind of cool.

I didn't even realize that a mom could be cool, but they're like, I look at you and you're a really cool mom, and then my mom, what does your videos and blah, blah, blah.

And so it's just hilarious because they're seeing a different side of their parent that they didn't see before.

It's not always embarrassing to go in public with your parent.

And now they're going shopping together.

You know, they're going to movies and, you know, shows and they're doing different things together.

And that's important because the moms we have a segment for our live show towards the end of the show, and between 10 and 20 moms are invited up on stage, and I'm holding the mic and they're asking me, hey, what are we going to do up here?

What's getting ready to happen?

And I'm like, oh, we're just going to sing some fun songs like pop songs or whatever.

It'll be a lot of fun.

And so I'm going through we've got Justin Bieber going, we've got Carly Rae Jepsen playing, and I'm putting the mic up to them and they're dancing up and down and they're taking selfies and everything.

And then the kids are proud of their mom for going up on stage and having the courage to do that.

And they're like, and you met Mama Harding.

That is so cool.

So I'm trying to make motherhood cool again.

That's awesome because I am a hover mom at any age.

I don't care how old my boys are, I still hover.

I'm a part of their lives.

And I will say, if your children are inviting you to go someplace, go with them.

Even if it's McDonald old.

Yeah, you know what I mean.

Just go with them because they're asking for a reason.

They do want to spend time with you, and you shouldn't be that busy, that you can't take time out and go someplace with them.

It's an invite.

And invites don't happen often.

So you should probably take advantage of it and be that cool parent.

That's pretty cool I love that such an empowering message for every generation Congratulations.

Get on your book.

I'm so excited to read it.

And where is your book available?

My book is called Mama Harding Influencing the Future, and it is available at Mama harding.com and Amazon.com, as well as watermark Books and Cafe.

That's so cool.

It's so local.

Yes.

And that's just really inspiring.

to meet.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for being on our program.

Thank you.

And thank you for watching.

If you have questions about this topic or anything else that we cover, reach out to us at EmpoweringSeniors@kpts.org I'm Katherine Ambrose and I'll see you on the next Empowering Seniors.